Dear Reader,
We realize that we're getting this recipe in right at the 11th hour, and we apologize. Officially. We've just been kinda busy this past month. So as our way of making it up to you, we chose a recipe card that had not one, not two, but THREE concoctions. We hope you enjoy.
Yours in Crockering,
Mike & Emily
Opening Remarks:
Emily: The name of this month's recipe card is "More Super Sandwiches," and it was Mike's choice. I was kind of surprised by this choice because it seemed so...normal. At least compared to the other recipes we've tried. But, knowing Mike, I knew he had a plan. Also, the Peanut-Bacon-Pickle sandwich sounds kind of gross, but I like all the stuff in it. Besides, anything with bacon in it HAS to be good.
Mike: I'm feeling the need to defend my choice. So here goes: this recipe is from the "Snacks Around the Clock," section which right off the bat tells you it's going to be amazing. Secondly, there are three recipes contained herein: one (Beef-Egg Sandwich) that looks like a particularly hideous pattern of wallpaper from the 70s...
Emily: I know what it looks like. When I was in high school, somebody threw up in the parking lot of Denny's. It looks like that throw up (I think we were coming back from a band trip).
Mike:...one that seems like it could be historically bad (Peanut-Bacon-Pickle Sandwich), and a third (Frank-Sauerkraut Sandwich) that's, well, it's just a freakin' hot dog, isn't it? I have to admit: I was intrigued. Also the name of this recipe card is "More Super Sandwiches." Where are the other "Super Sandwiches?" I don't think there was any "Super Sandwiches" in the recipe library. At least, I didn't see it. Which sort of begs the question: If you're going to go to the trouble of calling them "More Super Sandwiches," shouldn't it be at least kind of obvious what the other plain old "Super Sandwiches" are? Shouldn't there be some sort of pattern to them? But Beef-Egg Sandwich, Frank-Saurkraut Sandwich, and Peanut-Bacon-Pickle Sandwich? First of all, what's so "Super" about any of these - what's so "Super" about a hot dog? When does a sandwich achieve super status? Does it have to be a hot sandwich, or would a plain ol' PB&J make the cut? There's no explanation.
Making It.
Mike: The making of this recipe marks kind of a major milestone in the history of the Dunbar-Dean household: we used all four of the burners on our stove for I think the first time ever. It's kind of a big deal - we cook a lot. In fact, it got kind of confusing, with so many different sandwiches happening at once.
Emily: I'd like to agree w/ the amazing feat of using all four burners. In addition, I'd like to point out that there was no dairy at all, and no pimentos in this recipe at all. Pretty monumental occasion for my girl Bet-Bet. So we were cooking and there were all these things going on, and we were both drinking (of course), and I feel like we got kind of confused trying to time it all. I felt overwhelmed by components.
Mike: The thing is - and I'm not sure if this had to do with the fact that we're starting to get a bit more comfortable with these recipes, or whether it was a byproduct of the fact that we had so many different things happening at once - but this was the first time we started cutting corners a bit and not following the recipes exactly. In fact, I don't think Emily actually looked at the recipe once during the making of the so-called "More Super Sandwiches."
Emily: No, I definitely didn't. It was very easy, with so much happening at once, that it got really easy to forget what we were doing. I lost focus. But I had two glasses of wine! That helped.
Mike: The making of the Peanut-Bacon-Pickle Sandwich also marked the continuation of an ongoing battle that's been raging (or at least smoldering) since Emily and I first moved in together: whether chunky or smooth is the superior peanut butter. I don't think it's even close, because chunky has all the qualities of smooth PLUS it's also got chunks of peanuts. Clearly that's a value add, and clearly chunky is better.
Emily: Smooth is better. Because if I want peanut butter, I'll eat peanut butter. And if I want peanuts, I'll eat peanuts. Chunky just has too much going on. I just want creamy peanut butter, not peanuts. I don't want to be distracted by the texture.
Mike: So when this disagreement first came up when we'd only been dating for a few months we were both sort of unreasonable about it, but in a cute way because we'd only just gotten together. But then when we actually moved in together we started buying creamy exclusively because basically Emily likes to get her way. But now that we've been together for a while and the "varnish has a bit of tarnish," so to speak, I'm fucking reintroducing chunky. Because why not? I pay the rent, too. We now have separate peanut butters in the house.
Emily: I'll allow it. We have separate jams too.
Mike: So anyway the Peanut-Bacon-Pickle Sandwich called for peanut butter to be spread over a piece of bread. But we couldn't agree on which peanut butter to use, so we ended up spreading chunky on one half of the piece of bread, and creamy on the other half. It was kinda like our version of the Kansas-Nebraska Act, only with two different kinds of peanut butters instead of slave and free states. And a piece of bread instead of the United States (creamy peanut butter is such a slave state, by the way).
Emily: I have no idea what he's talking about. Anyway, we hoped that the peanut butter slavery act or whatever would somehow make the Peanut-Bacon-Pickle sandwich more tolerable. I realize we're not being very linear in our description but it kind of reflects the actual making process- frenzied, chaotic, and all over the place.
Sometime during the frank-saurkraut making, maybe boiling the dogs, I realized we were listening to Alicia Keyes on itunes and asked which sandwich did Mike think she would like best. This started a game of "Which 'More Super Sandwich' Would This Artist Prefer?" that lasted the entire "making" process.
Mike: There wasn't much special about the making of the Frank-Sauerkraut Sandwich (gee, I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that it was JUST A HOT DOG), but one thing of note did happen: while simmering, the sauerkraut attacked my jeans with a spittle of juice. This made me upset, and I made Emily take a picture to document the attack.
Emily: One last note about the "making" of the Beef-Egg Sandwich. We weren't exactly sure if we were supposed to throw everything into the pan and stir it up, or if Betty was asking us to create a patty-like object. We discussed the possibilities for a while and ultimately decided on the former. In retrospect, it would have been pretty simple to figure out if we actually READ the directions, or you know, LOOKED at the picture on the front of the recipe card.
Eating It.
Mike: I lost RPS, 2 games to 0 (scissors over paper, paper over rock) and so went first. I chose the Peanut-Bacon-Pickle Sandwich first because it looked the worst.
(Oh and by the way: remember how I was talking about our peanut butter feud, which led us to creating a perfectly segregated piece of bread? Well that was all well and good, until we'd actually finished making the sandwich and I CUT IT DIAGONALLY, completely ruining the whole point of a segregated piece of peanut buttered bread in the first place. Unbelievable.)
So anyway I took a big bite. Tasted like the way plastic smells when it's burning in a fire (a taste that for some reason I immediately associated as the taste of brain cancer). But despite all that, it actually didn't seem that bad.
Emily: It did! It tasted like flea collar! It's really a shame we wasted the bacon.
Mike: For some reason I didn't mind it. I think I actually even made a comment about being able to eat the whole thing. But then I took a second bite, which is really when the full horribleness of the sandwich became clear to me. For some reason this is a sandwich that has more awful than can be contained in one bite. Not to be all dramatic about it, but there really wasn't anything about this sandwich that made me think of the words "More" or "Super."
Emily: I didn't like it.
Mike: The other two sandwiches were pretty good though. I spent a little more money and got some Nathan's hot dogs for the Frank-Sauerkraut Sandwich, and I was glad I did. Those suckers are good 'n juicy!
Emily: Mike actually doubted the inclusion of the raw onions on top of the sauerkraut, but I insisted in an effort to keep the integrity of the project intact. In the end, we both thought the onions were crucial and definitely a positive addition.
Mike: Yes. Surprisingly good ratios.
Emily: And something I've noticed: I tend to get all kinds of existential-like with these recipes. I'm constantly asking "Why Betty? Why that choice of processed condiments for a sauce? What is the reason for this strange shaped meat structure? What are you trying to tell me B?" As predicted, it happened again when I took a bite of the Beef-Egg sandwich. "What is this- a burger or an omelet? The dill pickle makes it seem like a burger. But wait! The egg, onion, and green pepper confuses it all to hell. Would ketchup help? Cheese? Why are you playing with my miiiiiind?????"
Don't get me wrong, it was edible. Dare I say tasty? Maybe not. Honestly, I was too distracted by the identity of the thing to really fully consider the flavor. The unanswered question continues to haunt me.
Final Comments.
Mike: This recipe might not have been a "sexy" pick, but I'm pleased with it. There was a lot going on - from the crazy multi-burner action we had going while we were making it, to another skirmish in the peanut butter wars, to a surprisingly full spectrum of sandwich tastes (Frank-Sauerkraut: good, Beef-Egg: mediocre, Peanut-Bacon-Pickle: awful). All in all, I'd say Betty gave us plenty to think about with this recipe. Plus I was able to slip in a Kansas-Nebraska Act reference which is always good.
Emily: I'm actually glad we dialed it back a little bit and took a moment to really consider the classic sandwich in 3 of it's many forms. And this conservative choice actually sets the stage for the May recipe (my choice) extremely well. I already know which one it's going to be, and it is especially bizarro. Luckily for us all, May starts this week.
Mike: I don't think it was that conservative...
Emily: They're sandwiches! And one of them was a hot dog!
Appendix A
"Which 'More Super Sandwich' Would These Artists From Mike & Emily's iTunes Playlist Prefer?"
1) Eddie Vedder, "Hard Sun" (Frank-Sauerkraut. Can't you just picture him eating one on his tour bus? Not sure why.)
2) David Byrne, "My Fair Lady" (Peanut-Butter-Pickle. Because he's weird. What's the PowerPoint-iest sandwich of the bunch? Probably still Peanut-Bacon-Pickle.)
3) CSS, "Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex" (Emily: I can't actually imagine CSS eating anything. Mike: What do they even look like? I can't tell which sandwich they'd like until I know what they look like.)
4) OK Go, "Here It Goes Again" (Beef-Egg)
5) Alicia Keyes, "No One" (Mike: Peanut-Bacon-Pickle. Does this make me racist? Emily: Frank-Sauerkraut, because she's from New York. And hot.)
6) Band of Horses, "The Funeral" (Beef-Egg, because it reminds them of eating an omelette late at night at a 24-hr diner, whilst pining for a lost love.)
7) Kenny Rogers, "The Gambler" (Mike: Peanut-Bacon-Pickle. Probably the only thing Alicia Keyes and Kenny Rogers have in common. They should totally do a duet though. Emily: I think he'd be in it for the bacon. I see him eating a lot of bacon.)
8) The Flaming Lips, "The W.A.N.D." (Emily: I...I...just don't know. Mike: I'm going straight up Frank-Sauerkraut here, but with some sort of twist. Maybe a freakishly large Frank. Emily: with alien dancers in santa suits squirting the mustard EVERYWHERE.)
